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Black Male Hairstyle - Necole Bitchie.com: Does Losing the Weave Mean Losing Him?

Black Male Hairstyle - Necole Bitchie.com: Does Losing the Weave Mean Losing Him?


Necole Bitchie.com: Does Losing the Weave Mean Losing Him?

Posted: 04 Apr 2014 08:37 AM PDT

Steve Harvey Natural hair 1 Screen Shot 2014-04-04 at 11.21.20 AM

For some women, their weave and the ability to be versatile with their hair is one of their biggest accessories, but what happens when she decides to ditch the weave and go natural but her man isn't feeling it? Whether you're rocking an afro, twist out, or 16-inch Malaysian remy yaky, your man should always make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, but what happens when your natural beauty just isn't cutting it for him?

This week, Steve Harvey tackled the issue when he invited married couple McClea and Love to his show after Love sent in a video saying that when she decided to ditch her long, silky weave, her husband didn't find her natural hair attractive. Love looked adorable with her cute little puff 'fro, but as much as McClea kept saying his wife is a beautiful woman, he just couldn't get with the natural hair program.

Check out some excerpts:

McClea on his reaction to his wife after she took out her weave

My wife's a very beautiful woman as you can see, but when I first met her she had the Brazilian weave down her booty and that's all she's ever worn. When she first took it out it was just shocking to me. [I was] surprised she looked like a different person.

Love on her husband's reaction to her taking out her weave

We've been together nine years. About two, three years ago I decided to go natural. Not on purpose but I had this weave in my hair and the weave went bad. After I cut it all off I no choice but to wear this.[...]The first time he saw it, he ran out the house and then he came back in and asked if it was a wig, if so take it off. He wasn't very supportive of that, actually.

McClea on how he feels about Love's natural hair:

Well, I'm over the shock. I understand that natural hair takes time. It takes time to grow out. And like I said, it's not something that I'm used to, but I just wish there was more styles she could do with it so it could be more appealing. Something different because there's not many styles she can do with her hair like this so I just tell her that.

Love:

No wife wants to hear that her husband's not attracted to their natural beauty, of course it makes me feel bad, but I feel like I'm to blame for this because I've been wearing weaves since I could talk. He's never really seen me in this state so I kind of feel like it's my fault.[...] Granted, I feel a little uncomfortable about it as well, [but] if he was more supportive I would definitely wear it more. When it was longer I could do more styles with it, but now that I've started the whole process over and cut it all over [again], it's kind of hard to style it at this length.

McClea: Of course I try not to hurt my wife. I love my wife with all my heart, of course, and I want to be supportive of her with her growing of her hair and all I ask is to see what else it can do. I can bear with the time that it takes for her hair to grow.

CurlyNikki's very own Nikki Walton stepped in as the natural hair expert, saying that hair is so intimately tied to self-image that when weaves come off, women are literally stripping away their confidence. She told Love that once she builds up her own confidence, experiments a little and tries some new looks, she'll feel better about herself and her husband can't help but be attracted to that.

It's a touchy issue because it's tied to a woman's self-esteem and self-image. As we grow up as women, we are taught to believe that straight, long hair is considered beautiful. It's the only beautiful. Your self-image right now is very much tied to the long, silky weave. When you take them off, it is essentially like stripping your self-confidence. You're going to feel naked. You might feel ugly. You might feel insecure and you're gonna need support, but you're gonna have to find your confidence first.

Natural hair is obviously a very healthy option.Weaves, over time, if used inappropriately can cause wear and tear [and] can cause damage to your hair and scalp. So if you do choose to wear weaves on occasion I would say you need to keep your scalp clean. You need to keep your strands protected and moisturized, your real hair. And you need to give yourself a break. Take the weaves off for more than just a day. More than just two days. Take it off for a month and really get in there and experiment with new styles. Go out to the stores, go to the mall with your new look. Let people see you. Let your husband see you. Find your confidence in your natural self.

The moment that Love learns to love her natural hair, her confidence, her happiness will shine through and he will see that. He will be more attracted to you than ever before. He fell in love with you looking a certain way so we have to be patient, a little bit, while [he] makes the adjustment to her changes. But you're going to have to make those adjustments because it's her choice and she is doing her diligence by informing you of her choices and why it's healthy to go natural, and showing you how attractive it can be. She is fly. She is gorgeous. You have a beautiful wife and her hair is stunning.

Watch below:

Ladies, if you wore weave and decided that you wanted to take it out and rock your hair natural, but your man wasn't feeling it, would you keep the weave or risk losing him?

The U.S. Army&#39;s Racially Biased <b>Hairstyle</b> Guidelines - Hit & Run <b>...</b>

Posted: 04 Apr 2014 09:38 AM PDT

U.S. Army/The Washington PostU.S. Army/The Washington Post

In a move that's being labeled racially biased and nonsensical, the U.S. Army has nixed cornrows, twists, and multiple braids wider than a quarter-inch for female members. These now-prohibited hairstyles aren't just disproportionately favored by African Americans, they're some of the best options black women have for keeping hair both natural and unobtrusive while in the field. 

"Natural," in this context, means hair that's not been chemically relaxed, straightened, or permed. Natural hairstyles are much easier to maintain than more processed dos, obviously an important consideration for women in the military. 

An Army spokesman told the Washington Post the regulations are "necessary to maintain uniformity within a military population." But that uniformity seems to come at the expense of military women of color.

"Most black women, their hair doesn't grow straight down, it grows out," said Sgt. Jasmine Jacobs, of the Georgia National Guard, who wears her hair in two twists (hair that "exceeds more than 2" from scalp" is also banned). "I'm disappointed to see the Army, rather than inform themselves on how black people wear their hair, they've white-washed it all."

Jacobs launched a petition asking the Army to reconsider, which so far has gathered more than 11,500 signatures. "More than 30% of females serving in the military are of a race other than white," the petition notes. Yet the "lack of regard for ethnic hair" in the new regulations is apparent. 

"Females with natural hair take strides to style their natural hair in a professional manner when necessary; however, changes to AR 670-1 offer little to no options for females with natural hair. In the proposed changes, unauthorized hairstyles include twists, both flat twists and two strand twists, as well as dreadlocks, which are defined as 'any matted or locked coils or ropes of hair.'U.S. ArmyU.S. Army

As you can see, the guidelines get incredibly specific. Aside from potential racial bias, they also just seem needlessly detailed. Other prohibited hair moves include having more than one inch difference in length between front and back of hair, wearing a scrunchie that clashes with hair color, and parts that are not in a straight line. 

I understand the need for the army to issue broad guidelines on acceptable hair styles, as it does in other areas of appearance. But, beyond that, it could be left up to individual unit commanders. The current regulations do include a waiver system, under which women can appeal and be granted exceptions on a case by case basis. Why not start from a place of allowing women and their immediate supervisors to make those determinations? Surely people smart and capable enough to fight and die for our country are smart and capable enough to assess for themselves which hairstyles are an interference and which aren't. 

Elizabeth Nolan Brown is a staff editor at Reason.com.




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Black Male Hairstyle - Necole Bitchie.com: Does Losing the Weave Mean Losing Him?